I’ve seen people lose relationships, business opportunities, even careers, because they insisted on winning battles that didn’t matter in the long run. If the downside is more significant than the upside, it's often better to walk away.
Driving is the perfect training ground for life - so many opportunities to get upset over things that could not be more insignificant in the long run. So much of driving is a shared social contract - when to merge, how to behave in traffic etc. - that inevitably gets violated millions of times every single day.
When we go to our local cafe we are often tempted to snag a table before standing in line for 5-10 minutes. But on principle we wait in line first and let those before us take the available seats. Maybe once or twice in the span of years we end up without a spot. We would rather take those odds.
Thanks for the important reminder. The deeper root of why we don’t walk away sometimes is the need to be right. In the moment being right feeds our sense of self-worth. It elevates us. Especially if that day we feel drained energetically and need an “energy” pick me up. But in the long run - right and wrong are subjective regardless of the need for objectivity.
Our divisions have made for many self centered and rude people and we are ceding sense of community and decency, more and more each day. There’s almost no way to avoid these encounters anymore.
Your choice was the right one and you aren’t alone in letting it go - I feel like it happens to me all the time. I do hope that at some point in our self centered world that we find our way out of this mess and again begin to do the right thing, because it’s the right thing to do.
Thank you for this reminder about humanity and its impasses. Unfortunately it does not matter who is right or wrong in that moment. What mattered was your choices and boiling it down to having a beautiful evening with your wife! Well done! The other lady’s behaviour was her choice and she did not care about an escalation. Better her blood pressure raise than yours;-)
I got into a bad business deal once. The owner of a water sports shop told me what was in the shop if I needed to use it, use it. It was a blind trust policy, if I needed something we just recorded it. He also was sweet enough to offer me 10 paddle boards for my business and I could do a payment arrangement. I was not comfortable with that one and declined, but his intentions were good…. I think….
At the time I was working for peanuts and there was a verbal side deal - I asked him repeatedly to put a contract in place. Silly me, I ignored the red flag when he didn’t put anything on paper. When the relationship went south, he told people I stole the gear or took without consent, and of course there are cameras everywhere. That is indeed what it looked like, without anyone knowing the backstory.
Bob, you made the right choice for the right reasons. May I add……you state this was an older woman. I am also an older woman, and I find her behavior disgraceful. If a space was needed for handicapped reasons, then call the restaurant and find out how to park. She was 100% wrong, no getting around that, IMHO. Rudeness because one is older is unacceptable.
My personal opinion that the person in the right in this standoff situation is not so clear. If you are interested, you can repeat the query I gave to ChatGPT:
“Robert Glazier recently created a post describing a confrontation he had while trying to find a parking place. An older woman was standing in the place that he wanted, saying that she was holding it for her family. Robert reports that she was totally in the wrong. I’m not so sure about that. Why can’t a person standing in a space save it just as well as a car parked in that space. Is there any precedent for disputes like this? Any legal challenges?”
Chat pointed out that some cities – – New York and San Francisco – – have specific laws that agree with Robert’s take. But it’s not so clear everywhere else.
Driving is the perfect training ground for life - so many opportunities to get upset over things that could not be more insignificant in the long run. So much of driving is a shared social contract - when to merge, how to behave in traffic etc. - that inevitably gets violated millions of times every single day.
Great post!
Agree Emmett, these are all social contracts.
When we go to our local cafe we are often tempted to snag a table before standing in line for 5-10 minutes. But on principle we wait in line first and let those before us take the available seats. Maybe once or twice in the span of years we end up without a spot. We would rather take those odds.
Thanks for the important reminder. The deeper root of why we don’t walk away sometimes is the need to be right. In the moment being right feeds our sense of self-worth. It elevates us. Especially if that day we feel drained energetically and need an “energy” pick me up. But in the long run - right and wrong are subjective regardless of the need for objectivity.
Our divisions have made for many self centered and rude people and we are ceding sense of community and decency, more and more each day. There’s almost no way to avoid these encounters anymore.
Your choice was the right one and you aren’t alone in letting it go - I feel like it happens to me all the time. I do hope that at some point in our self centered world that we find our way out of this mess and again begin to do the right thing, because it’s the right thing to do.
Thank you for this reminder about humanity and its impasses. Unfortunately it does not matter who is right or wrong in that moment. What mattered was your choices and boiling it down to having a beautiful evening with your wife! Well done! The other lady’s behaviour was her choice and she did not care about an escalation. Better her blood pressure raise than yours;-)
I got into a bad business deal once. The owner of a water sports shop told me what was in the shop if I needed to use it, use it. It was a blind trust policy, if I needed something we just recorded it. He also was sweet enough to offer me 10 paddle boards for my business and I could do a payment arrangement. I was not comfortable with that one and declined, but his intentions were good…. I think….
At the time I was working for peanuts and there was a verbal side deal - I asked him repeatedly to put a contract in place. Silly me, I ignored the red flag when he didn’t put anything on paper. When the relationship went south, he told people I stole the gear or took without consent, and of course there are cameras everywhere. That is indeed what it looked like, without anyone knowing the backstory.
Stay safe out there…. Danielle Pointon
Thanks, Danielle. Your comment actually made me think of this recent Friday Forward (if you haven't seen it yet): https://robertglazer.substack.com/p/friday-forward-bad-deal-489
Bob, you made the right choice for the right reasons. May I add……you state this was an older woman. I am also an older woman, and I find her behavior disgraceful. If a space was needed for handicapped reasons, then call the restaurant and find out how to park. She was 100% wrong, no getting around that, IMHO. Rudeness because one is older is unacceptable.
Thanks for the reply and for reading, Marilyn. I hope you have a great weekend!
My personal opinion that the person in the right in this standoff situation is not so clear. If you are interested, you can repeat the query I gave to ChatGPT:
“Robert Glazier recently created a post describing a confrontation he had while trying to find a parking place. An older woman was standing in the place that he wanted, saying that she was holding it for her family. Robert reports that she was totally in the wrong. I’m not so sure about that. Why can’t a person standing in a space save it just as well as a car parked in that space. Is there any precedent for disputes like this? Any legal challenges?”
Chat pointed out that some cities – – New York and San Francisco – – have specific laws that agree with Robert’s take. But it’s not so clear everywhere else.
Thanks Bill, it's not so much a law as a social understanding. You just don't physically block public spaces, they are first-come first-serve.
Scriptural teaching is not to cast the pearl before the swine.