I’ve found it interesting how often people reach out with a fundamentally unkind tone or message, especially when it is either unnecessary or unwarranted.
I have been a reader of yours for quite a while and I have shared your insights with fellow team members and managers. This one really hit homes for me as being retired military, I have had to train myself to wait the 24 hours before replying, especially when some snarky comment or issue comes across to me. I have to remember to wait, breathe, and if I have to, count to 100. in addition, "not making assumptions" is key to anyone in management or customer service! I could go on, but I just need to say thanks for the time, effort and information you place into this article and your many other ones as well.
Hi there, this is great and clearly heartfelt. I wonder if a great complement to it would be some key pointers to managing your reaction when receiving rattling feedback. It seems a real skill which I am not sure I have but which anyone who writes or speaks publicly needs to developed in these polarised fast paced times. It could offer lessons in resilience I guess. Thanks for the newsletter!
I have been reading the Friday Forward for years. I can’t remember how it started.
I have consistently been rewarded with great insight from you that somehow always speaks to my “current moment”. It gives me paths forward. And so too, today.
Thank you. I’ve been struggling with feedback for some time. This article gives both the giver and receiver some ways to process that feedback better. And that kindness, compassion and curiosity are always the best to get there.
Always a nice way to start the weekend with a FF read. I have two quotes at the bottom of every email I send. They seem to resound with todays FF message.
“We will never truly know the magnitude of good we do in this world, because the ripple effect will continue long after we cease to be on earth.” -JGB
“Kindness should be as prevalent as the air we breathe.” -JGB
What a perfect article to read this morning. Thank you so much. "Don't shoot and duck" is definitely something I will reflect on today. Have a great weekend!
The great irony is that as an editor, I would never shame an author by pointing out a trivial error in their published work. Why do people do this? Editors have discussed this behavior in private groups, by the way, and we largely agree: it's unhelpful and rude. Lots of hands touch content before it's published, so as much as we cringe when we see a typo -- and we do see them -- errors are inevitable. If the work is riddled with errors, that's a different story. My best suggestion as an editor is that if you want to engage with an author, focus on the content. Be as constructive and critical as you wish. Just remember, if you want to leave a lasting impression, do it with kindness. That's the reader with the biggest impact.
At our company, we often remind each other of the Toltec wisdom that says not to take things personally. On that same vein, we encourage our employees not to shy away from being personal, in the sense that we are all human and it's alright to talk about what's challenging you outside of work, etc. That being said, this article challenged my thought about not taking things personally. I agree with the message. What would be the most ideal response to a person who points out a grammatical error in a less-than-polite way?
I couldn’t agree more. I love reading your Friday forwards. They’re always thought-provoking and have helped me a lot in my own leadership decisions. Thank you for what you’re doing and the generosity of keeping Friday forward free. I don’t understand what reward negative posters get. It’s strangely perverse to think giving pain would give them pleasure.
I don’t really understand what motivates people to post with such negativity. It’s strangely perverse to think they get some pleasure out of dealing out such pain. Thank you for all your FFs. They are very thought provoking
I have been a reader of yours for quite a while and I have shared your insights with fellow team members and managers. This one really hit homes for me as being retired military, I have had to train myself to wait the 24 hours before replying, especially when some snarky comment or issue comes across to me. I have to remember to wait, breathe, and if I have to, count to 100. in addition, "not making assumptions" is key to anyone in management or customer service! I could go on, but I just need to say thanks for the time, effort and information you place into this article and your many other ones as well.
Thanks Adam!
Hi there, this is great and clearly heartfelt. I wonder if a great complement to it would be some key pointers to managing your reaction when receiving rattling feedback. It seems a real skill which I am not sure I have but which anyone who writes or speaks publicly needs to developed in these polarised fast paced times. It could offer lessons in resilience I guess. Thanks for the newsletter!
I have been reading the Friday Forward for years. I can’t remember how it started.
I have consistently been rewarded with great insight from you that somehow always speaks to my “current moment”. It gives me paths forward. And so too, today.
Thank you. I’ve been struggling with feedback for some time. This article gives both the giver and receiver some ways to process that feedback better. And that kindness, compassion and curiosity are always the best to get there.
Thanks Annie!
Excellent thoughts. Reminds me of "Before You Hit Send" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
The book focuses on these simple points
Is it true?
Is it kind?
Is it necessary?
Is it clear?
When we answer these kinds of questions honestly, we will be thinking wisely before we speak or send.
So simple and great advice!
My moms 2 favorite sayings. It’s a be nice day. And if you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all.
Great, and appropriate, quote too!
Always a nice way to start the weekend with a FF read. I have two quotes at the bottom of every email I send. They seem to resound with todays FF message.
“We will never truly know the magnitude of good we do in this world, because the ripple effect will continue long after we cease to be on earth.” -JGB
“Kindness should be as prevalent as the air we breathe.” -JGB
Have a wonderful weekend Robert.
-John
Thanks John!
I enjoyed reading this piece. The content is “spot on” and it is a good reminder to be kind to one another. Bravo!!
Thanks!
Bob, great article as usual, and great quote in The NY Times today!
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/07/07/business/gen-x-in-charge-companies-chief-executives.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare
What a perfect article to read this morning. Thank you so much. "Don't shoot and duck" is definitely something I will reflect on today. Have a great weekend!
Such a wonderful article, Robert! Specific takeaways that I'll try to remember and incorporate in my communications. Thank you for sharing this.
Thnaks Aravind!
The great irony is that as an editor, I would never shame an author by pointing out a trivial error in their published work. Why do people do this? Editors have discussed this behavior in private groups, by the way, and we largely agree: it's unhelpful and rude. Lots of hands touch content before it's published, so as much as we cringe when we see a typo -- and we do see them -- errors are inevitable. If the work is riddled with errors, that's a different story. My best suggestion as an editor is that if you want to engage with an author, focus on the content. Be as constructive and critical as you wish. Just remember, if you want to leave a lasting impression, do it with kindness. That's the reader with the biggest impact.
Thank you for a well written FF and excellent reminders that (or is it which?!) we can all use!
This is my favorite of your posts so far. Sharing with my family.
Thanks, each one resonates differently
At our company, we often remind each other of the Toltec wisdom that says not to take things personally. On that same vein, we encourage our employees not to shy away from being personal, in the sense that we are all human and it's alright to talk about what's challenging you outside of work, etc. That being said, this article challenged my thought about not taking things personally. I agree with the message. What would be the most ideal response to a person who points out a grammatical error in a less-than-polite way?
I couldn’t agree more. I love reading your Friday forwards. They’re always thought-provoking and have helped me a lot in my own leadership decisions. Thank you for what you’re doing and the generosity of keeping Friday forward free. I don’t understand what reward negative posters get. It’s strangely perverse to think giving pain would give them pleasure.
I don’t really understand what motivates people to post with such negativity. It’s strangely perverse to think they get some pleasure out of dealing out such pain. Thank you for all your FFs. They are very thought provoking