Thanks, Robert. You did a great job of highlighting this issue for your readers. It's a topic that I believe will gain traction as the products of this type of parenting become more and more problematic in the coming years. No doubt you have heard of Greg Lukianoff and Johnathan Haidt (who also has a substack called "After Babel.") Their book, "The Coddling of the American Mind" takes a deep look at the implications of this problem. A must read for parents and anyone who cares about the mental well-being of tomorrow's adults!
I agree 100% ROBERT. I was rather appalled when I first started hearing and reading about helicopter parenting many years ago and wrote several articles and spoke about it in my programs. Then the phenomenon got worse. His younger generations of parents adopted it, and the snowplow parenting got worse. I like your analogy to leadership in the workplace. That whole mindset has the affected managers and requires new manager training mindset in order for direct reports not to want to leave the organization because of their managers, which becomes a toxic relationship.
Strong medicine here, Bob, and badly needed. At the root of a lot of poor performance on the job is dependence on parents far into adulthood. If as a parent you are stilll managing young adults lives, and paying for things they should pay for themselves, you do them no favors. I have seen far too much of it, and don't offer my opinion to friends, because I'm not asked. You have done many a service here. Thank you.
This is why I encourage more parents to look into getting their kids involved in Scouts BSA which is for boys and girls. The program focuses resiliency and leadership skills at an early age. If you have ever met a young Eagle Scout then you see the success of this approach.
Yes, in Canada we call them "snowplow" parents. Having been a soccer coach for many years, I can certainly relate a story of forgotten soccer cleats more than once. On the end of several long e-mails from parents after the fact, I was called upon to gently remind parents the "why" of team sports for children.
I'm a millennial and I cannot agree with this more!! I see it in youth sports and recreation programs and it's scary how much that same micromanaging and coddling is affecting the young employees we're trying to hire.
Very well written article Robert. Ironic how the word ‘parent’ comes from the Latin term to ‘bring forth’. True leadership is creating the space for a child to grow and learn and be ‘brought forth’ rather than spoon fed.
I wonder if the P&O parenting comes from a place of insecurity. Many parents may worry more about being ‘a bad parent’ vs focusing on the child’s development into a resilient and adaptable human being.
The challenge with the young adults that grew up under helicopter, snowplow, and/or P&O parents is that they need to acknowledge and decide to make a change, not their parents. By that age, it is up to them. I am sure their parents believe that they are doing the right thing - cognitive dissonance - so they won’t change.
The other challenge is when these young adults enter the work force. How to identify them during the interview process - will you hire them? How to manage them - imagine the parents calling the manager because of…? How to help them Elevate? I would love to hear your thoughts on this.
Great article on both management and parenting. My wife and I have raised 6 out of 8 children to adulthood and all of the 6 (the last two are still in the house and going through high school). Even our special needs child lives on their own, holds a full-time job and is a functional, productive adult. We did this all through the grace of our Lord and raising them to be adults, skinned knees, lost cleats and all.
Thanks, Robert. You did a great job of highlighting this issue for your readers. It's a topic that I believe will gain traction as the products of this type of parenting become more and more problematic in the coming years. No doubt you have heard of Greg Lukianoff and Johnathan Haidt (who also has a substack called "After Babel.") Their book, "The Coddling of the American Mind" takes a deep look at the implications of this problem. A must read for parents and anyone who cares about the mental well-being of tomorrow's adults!
One of the best books I have read in the past five years.
Thanks for sharing this book, Jack! I will be ordering it!
I agree 100% ROBERT. I was rather appalled when I first started hearing and reading about helicopter parenting many years ago and wrote several articles and spoke about it in my programs. Then the phenomenon got worse. His younger generations of parents adopted it, and the snowplow parenting got worse. I like your analogy to leadership in the workplace. That whole mindset has the affected managers and requires new manager training mindset in order for direct reports not to want to leave the organization because of their managers, which becomes a toxic relationship.
Strong medicine here, Bob, and badly needed. At the root of a lot of poor performance on the job is dependence on parents far into adulthood. If as a parent you are stilll managing young adults lives, and paying for things they should pay for themselves, you do them no favors. I have seen far too much of it, and don't offer my opinion to friends, because I'm not asked. You have done many a service here. Thank you.
It's a great point Marilyn. It's one thing to take micromanagement into the workplace as a leader, it's another to need it.
This is why I encourage more parents to look into getting their kids involved in Scouts BSA which is for boys and girls. The program focuses resiliency and leadership skills at an early age. If you have ever met a young Eagle Scout then you see the success of this approach.
Yes, in Canada we call them "snowplow" parents. Having been a soccer coach for many years, I can certainly relate a story of forgotten soccer cleats more than once. On the end of several long e-mails from parents after the fact, I was called upon to gently remind parents the "why" of team sports for children.
I'm a millennial and I cannot agree with this more!! I see it in youth sports and recreation programs and it's scary how much that same micromanaging and coddling is affecting the young employees we're trying to hire.
Very well written article Robert. Ironic how the word ‘parent’ comes from the Latin term to ‘bring forth’. True leadership is creating the space for a child to grow and learn and be ‘brought forth’ rather than spoon fed.
I wonder if the P&O parenting comes from a place of insecurity. Many parents may worry more about being ‘a bad parent’ vs focusing on the child’s development into a resilient and adaptable human being.
Looking forward to reading more of your work!
The challenge with the young adults that grew up under helicopter, snowplow, and/or P&O parents is that they need to acknowledge and decide to make a change, not their parents. By that age, it is up to them. I am sure their parents believe that they are doing the right thing - cognitive dissonance - so they won’t change.
The other challenge is when these young adults enter the work force. How to identify them during the interview process - will you hire them? How to manage them - imagine the parents calling the manager because of…? How to help them Elevate? I would love to hear your thoughts on this.
Great article on both management and parenting. My wife and I have raised 6 out of 8 children to adulthood and all of the 6 (the last two are still in the house and going through high school). Even our special needs child lives on their own, holds a full-time job and is a functional, productive adult. We did this all through the grace of our Lord and raising them to be adults, skinned knees, lost cleats and all.