Friday Forward - Staying Grounded (#480)

It's the small moments in leadership that make a lasting impact

Last week, I received an email that stopped me in my tracks.

It came from someone I’d met briefly years ago. He was a college student helping organize an entrepreneurship event at Babson College where I was speaking. Interestingly, his note to me had nothing to do with what I said on stage that day. Instead, what he remembered most was how I arrived.

He recalled that most of the speakers at that same event had pulled up in flashy cars, voiced frustration about the parking setup, and promoted their books at full price to students. By comparison, he noted that I drove up in a far more modest car—he recalled a Subaru, although it was actually a Toyota RAV4—and I was lugging boxes of books to give away for free. He offered to help me carry the books and we struck up a conversation.

Until I read his note, I admittedly hadn’t thought of that day since it happened. But he remembered it so clearly. Years later, he’s gone on to build something meaningful, and he said the example I set that day helped shape how he wanted to lead without me even realizing it.

His message meant a lot to me. I try to never take myself too seriously. I like to carry my own luggage—especially my rolling suitcase--and I don’t expect VIP treatment even at events where I’m paid to speak. My only real care is making sure the audio/visual setup works for how I know I present best.

Plus, his email served as a much-needed reminder: sometimes it’s the things we do when we think no one’s paying attention that make the biggest impression on other people. This happens way more often than we realize.

As we progress in our careers or advance in leadership roles, it’s easy to forget where we came from or the attitude that got us there in the first place. We start optimizing for efficiency, status, or comfort. The cars get nicer. The invitations get more exclusive. We stop carrying our own bags, upgrade from coach to business and start subtly changing how we treat people during passing interactions.

And yet, as we elevate it becomes much more important to stay grounded in who we were at the beginning, and how we want to be remembered down the line.

Many times, as in this case, it’s not the big speeches or highlight reels that usually stick with people. It’s how we made them feel in a quick encounter. Whether we made eye contact and asked how they were. Whether we lent a hand and if we checked our ego at the door before we walked into the room.

Imagine someone giving a passionate talk about listening and valuing others, then rushing off stage without a Q&A and disappearing into the VIP room. Next, imagine a person who gives the same speech, then takes questions for 15 minutes and has lunch in the conference room so that anyone can approach them to chat. Of those two, who would you rather do business with? Who would you rather be?

Authenticity and generosity compound. Inconsistency also compounds, but in a negative way. Leaders are always being watched, and they’re often watched most closely by people who are early in their own journeys, looking for examples of how they should act.

That’s why I was so grateful to get that note. Not because it celebrated something I did, but because it reminded me of something I don’t want to forget about who I want to be.

Here are a few good questions to ponder.

• Are we still showing up in a way our younger selves would be proud of?

• Are we treating others the way we once hoped someone would treat us?

• Are we remembering that no matter how our position in life has elevated, we’re still no better than anyone else?

We all want to believe we’ll be remembered for the brilliant keynote, the big presentation, or the bold strategy. But in the end, the things that make the lasting impression on people are often the ones we didn’t even realize mattered. Long after the spotlight moves on, what makes the lasting impact is how we made people feel in those small, seemingly insignificant everyday moments.

Quote of The Week

"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good." - Samuel Johnson

Have a great weekend!

-Bob
robertglazer.com

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