What I'd Tell My Younger Self: Four Universal Lessons for Success

My Hult International School of Business 2024 Commencement Speech

Sep 18, 2024

Last month, I was honored to deliver the graduation speech to the Class of 2024 at Hult International Business School. As I reflected on what advice would be most valuable for the graduates, I thought about the lessons I wish I had received at my graduation over two decades ago. While these insights are especially relevant for those starting their careers, they hold true across many ages and professions, serving as a guide for both personal and professional growth.

Below, you'll find the video and transcript of my speech:

Good morning everyone.

I want to thank Dr. Lilley, Dr. Dhillon and the deans, faculty and staff for making this day possible and inviting me to be a part of it.

I also want to thank the family and friends in attendance to celebrate the graduates.

Finally, I want to congratulate you, the graduating class of 2024, for being the reason we are all here today.

Right after I speak to you today, I am headed to the airport to see my second child off to college. And in exactly two years, I will be a parent on the other side of this podium watching my first child graduate.

So naturally, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want to share with my own kids when they reach the milestone you’ve reached today as well as what advice I could have used sitting in your same seats 26 years ago.

Those two trains of thought merged into what I’ll share with you today, four lessons informed by my own journey and what I have observed working with and studying hundreds of successful people at the top of their fields

I do want to begin with a dose of reality. A lot of the hard work in your life has been building to this moment, and many people have understandably made you think of this as the crowning achievement in your life. And, without a doubt, your graduation today is a major accomplishment that deserves to be celebrated.

But finishing this race doesn’t lead to a trip to the winner’s podium. Instead, it places you at a new starting line. What you’ve done to get to this point is remarkable, but it’s what you do from here that will really define your life and your legacy.

Before diving in, I also want to be clear that my definition of success is not about having the biggest house, the most accolades, the greatest fame or the most money. It's about making the impact on the world that each of you wants to make, fulfilling your potential and doing so in your own unique way.

There are many people in this world who appear extraordinarily successful by superficial definitions who are deeply unhappy, and there are people who appear to live simple or humble lives who are completely fulfilled.

Don’t hold yourself to anyone else’s definition of success.

As you pursue your vision of success, I hope these principles help you avoid missteps and accelerate your journey toward your goals.

Lesson #1: Uncover Your Values

What do you value most in life?

It’s a simple question, but one that is not easily answered. My experience is very few people can clearly articulate their most deeply held principles.

I identified my own list of personal core values a little over a decade ago and keep that list front and center in my life to this day. I was in my 30s when I took this step, and I really wish I had done it sooner, because it was a major demarcation point in my life.

Up to that point, I had certainly had some meaningful accomplishments and a modicum of success, however everything you heard in my bio when I was introduced today came after that revelation.

So, what are core values?

Simply stated, core values are your most deeply-held, non-negotiable principles. Consciously or subconsciously, they drive many of your most important decisions, such as your chosen vocation, who you marry, and the community in which you choose to live. When you do things aligned with your values, you feel energized. When you do things that clash with your values, it drains your energy, and you feel out of place.

Your core values are not aspirational traits. When identified correctly, they describe who you are and who you likely have always been. They are the instruction manual you never received when you were born.

If you can’t clearly articulate your own personal core values, you certainty aren’t alone, but you are navigating life without a GPS.

Because understanding your core values is so transformational, I urge you to spend time figuring out what you value. It will provide the foundation for the most important decisions in your life, the ones I refer to as “the Big Three.”

Who you choose as a spouse or life partner.
Your chosen career or place of work.
Where you choose to live and the people with whom you surround yourself.

You need to get these right, and that’s easier when you have core values to guide you. And to help you, I am going to send each of you access to a course later this week for free that will walk you through this process. And here you thought you were done with classes—but don’t worry, it’s just an hour!

Finally, once you understand your values, never compromise them, even when it’s easy or convenient. In a constantly changing world where it's often simpler to follow the crowd, having a stable and unchanging foundation to anchor your decision making is crucial.

Let your values be your unwavering compass, guiding you with integrity and serving as an anchor that keeps you steady in the storm of change that is life. Upholding your values is always the right choice, even when it means standing alone.

Lesson #2: Learn Before You Earn

Here’s a tough truth: in your 20s, you are going to be underpaid and underappreciated, even when you do great work. During this period, you’ll feel the urge to jump from job to job in pursuit of a bit more money or a better title, especially when your peers share how this has worked for them.

What you need to keep top of mind is that you are running a marathon not a sprint.

The reality is the arc of your success will depend much more on what you learn in your 20s, and the relationships you build, rather than how much money you earn or your job title.

The most successful people I have met and studied focused the early part of their careers on honing their craft and becoming an expert who people seek out. They worked at the best companies, got themselves into the top training programs and sought out and trained under the best mentors.

Let me share a few specific examples:

Jamie Dimon, the influential CEO of JPMorgan Chase, was the protégé of CEO Sandy Weill at American Express and Citigroup.

Oprah Winfrey was mentored by Barbara Walters early in her career, and Walters provided guidance and inspiration that helped Oprah navigate and eventually dominate the media landscape.

Steven Spielberg, who is arguably history’s most famous director, was mentored by Sidney Sheinberg, an executive at Universal Studios, who gave Spielberg his first directing job and provided opportunities that launched his career.

Lin-Manuel Miranda was mentored by Stephen Sondheim, a legendary composer and lyricist.

And finally, Chef Gordon Ramsay who was mentored by Marco Pierre White, one of the most celebrated chefs in the UK who taught him the importance of discipline and precision in the kitchen, which became hallmarks of his own culinary style.

I found another 100 examples I could have shared here, but you probably get the point.

Odds are, you won’t do the things that define your life and career in your 20s, and you also won’t make your fortune unless you invent the next Facebook or Amazon; those probabilities are about equal to winning the lottery. While I want you to dream big, I also don’t think it’s practical advice to bet on winning the lottery.

In your 20s, focus on finding work that engages you to the point that you are intrinsically motivated to learn more. It doesn’t have to be enjoyable all the time, but it should feed your deep curiosities. Find a vocation, a company, or a leader who makes you want to get better, give your all and truly hone your craft.

Find great training programs and attach yourself to great mentors. Become vulnerable and coachable so that you can soak in everything those mentors have to offer you, rather than being annoyed to be taught.

Don’t waste your energy being frustrated that your first job doesn’t pay as much as you’d like or your peers are taking better vacations, channel that energy into learning and becoming an indispensable expert. This is what will make you invaluable, connected—and very well compensated—later in your career.

The most profound satisfaction often comes from patience and the wisdom to embrace delayed gratification.

Lesson #3: Embrace The Struggle

You all are here because you’re smart, hardworking and talented. Some of you may have even made it to this point without needing to give your best or overcome significant obstacles.

I speak from experience. Early in my life, I got by doing only what was needed, and nothing more.

The problem is that things don’t come as easily in the real world. You will be tested in ways you aren’t prepared for, and you need to have strength to withstand those tests. I don’t think I really understood what I was capable of until I got knocked down a few times and figured out how to keep getting up.

Again, many of your parents and teachers may not have set the right expectations, preparing the path for you, rather than preparing you for the path. Life is hard, and things won’t work out in your favor every time, or even most of the time. Even a dream job feels like work at times.

There will be stretches of weeks or months where work or life feels unbearable. The key is not to quit something just because it’s challenging or you’ve hit a rough patch. Quit when it’s not something worth fighting for anymore.

Struggling is part of growth, and resilience is what separates those who achieve their goals from those who don't. Your greatest achievements will likely come soon after your biggest disappointments. Your character will be shaped and defined by your low points, not your high ones.

Resilience doesn’t come naturally, it’s a muscle that needs to be developed and tested. Here are two simple ways to build that muscle.

First, stay physically active. Regular exercise improves your mood, reduces stress, increases energy, and improves your sleep. It’s difficult to rise to any challenge when your mind and body aren’t fully prepared to meet it.

Second, try to regularly put yourself in positions that are uncomfortable, or even a bit scary. Ask that person out. Take a different route to work every so often. Try to get somewhere without using a navigation system. Take a solo trip to a different city or country—and earn bonus points by going somewhere where English is not the dominant language.

Last but not least, take opportunities to speak publicly, which is almost always uncomfortable at first and is everyone’s biggest fear in life, even above death. These are small things you can do to simulate challenging, unfamiliar or even anxiety-inducing situations and prove to yourself that you can handle them.

Finally, a big part of resilience is simply your mindset and focus. Resilience often requires accepting your new reality, even if it's less good than the one you had before. When things go wrong, you can lament the things beyond your control that are conspiring against you, or you can focus on what you can control, put one foot in front of another, solve one problem at a time, and get back to making progress.

Lesson #4: You Won’t Regret the Things You Did

Regret is a powerful force in life. It serves as both a reminder of our past decisions and a motivator for our future actions.

The truth is when all is said and done and especially towards the end of our lives, we regret the things we don’t do far more than the things we did; numerous studies over the years have backed this up with data.

When you are standing on this stage in my shoes in 26 years, or reflecting back at the end of your own life, the biggest regrets you will have will be the things you did not do:

The person you never asked out.
The business you never started.
The trip you didn’t take with your friends or family.
The difficult conversation you were afraid to have with someone you loved or cared about.

You won’t always make the right decisions or get the answers you’re looking for—more at-bats naturally lead to both more hits and more strikeouts. But you’ll never be left wondering what could have been.

You won’t regret what you did, with one significant exception. Those same studies show that by far the most common regret in life is bullying others. The good news there is that it just doesn’t take much time or effort to be kind.

When you embrace the opportunities in front of you and take chances, you will live a life free from the weight of what-ifs and you will sprint across the finish line without any need to look back at what might have been.

In Closing

Having shared these lessons, I want to share one last story. When I mentioned to my daughter that I had been asked to give this speech, she asked me what I was going to talk about. I told her that in case this opportunity ever presented itself, I had taken some notes over the years, which ended up forming the basis of my talk today.

Opportunities often arrive unexpectedly. It’s usually a good idea to be ready for them and plan to bring your A game.

There’s a famous story about this involving NBA legend Magic Johnson. At the beginning of Magic’s career, he saw a father and son approach his Lakers teammate Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, asking for an autograph. Kareem said no and walked away.

Seeing the disappointment on the son’s face, Magic walked over and kindly offered an autograph, saying “maybe I’ll be a great player one day.”

Over a decade later, when Magic’s basketball career was cut short by HIV and he was trying to piece his post-basketball life together, he launched a business career. Eventually, he received a critical investment from a familiar face—the father of the boy for whom Magic had signed the autograph.

He’d remembered Magic’s kindness that day and, over a decade later, returned the favor.

When you always bring your A game and show kindness, it often comes back around. It’s so important to always put your best foot forward, because you can’t possibly know which acts and moments today will be crucial to your future tomorrow.

To wrap things up, I’d like to share one of my favorite quotes which I believe encapsulates so much of what I’ve spoken about today.

I actually first heard it in a yoga class about 20 years ago.

For years after, I misattributed it to the yoga teacher, when it’s actually quite famous.

“How we do anything is how we do everything.”

I can’t think of a better motto to live by.

I wish you each the best of luck as you venture out into the world and make your unique contribution.

Thank you again, congratulations to the Class of 2024!

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