How To Say No—and Make People Thank You For It

Create a template system to easily and politely decline all the requests you aren't interested in pursuing

A lot of leaders live in fear of their inboxes. In addition to messages related to projects you are working on, there is also a constant flow of unsolicited emails and LinkedIn messages from people you don’t know, with requests you don’t have the time for or that don’t align with your interests. 

Understandably, most people simply ignore these messages, often because replying takes time, and there may be genuine guilt in saying no. Inevitably, this leads to several follow up messages, which leads to more agitation.

There’s a better way to manage this inbox mess that I started doing years ago at the advice of others: create standard templates to decline frequent requests.

I have numerous templates—a few of which I’ll share later in this piece for the first time—stored in my OneNote to politely reject all the most common requests I get, including:

• Requests to be on my podcast.

• Requests to discuss jobs at Acceleration Partners that I’m not involved in hiring.

• Requests for meetings from people I don’t know who just want to “pick my brain” for free or ask for career advice in an industry in which I don’t have experience.

• Invitations to speak for free at events—that also ask me to promote their event to my email list.

I no longer get annoyed when I receive requests like the ones above, even though it happens several times a day. I just open OneNote, copy the appropriate template, paste it into the email and hit send. It’s fast, easy, and feels a lot better than just ignoring messages and dealing with endless follow ups.

Why Templates Work

As discussed, a lot of people simply don’t respond to cold emails because they don’t want to take the time, feel bad about saying no or are irritated by the nature of request. These are the same reactions that can lead to professional and personal ghosting—people just find it easier to do nothing than to say no gracefully.

But while ignoring spam phone calls or shady emails is a good strategy, this is usually not the best approach for many unsolicited requests. If you’ve ever done cold outreach, one of the first bits of training you received was probably to always follow up when you don’t get a reply. And, thanks to AI, these follow ups will increasingly be sent automatically.

In contrast, if you respond with a simple, polite note, then the loop will be closed and, in many cases, the asker will remove you from their outreach.

Plus, my team and I have received many appreciative responses from people we’ve declined. Every time I get a note along the lines of “Thank you so much for responding, I totally understand,” it’s a positive outcome to an irritating situation.

Templates help you avoid annoying follow-ups and help you do your part to stop professional ghosting, which is a growing problem in the workplace. It’s always worth it to be polite and honest, rather than bitter and evasive.

Effective Templates

There’s no single right way to write a decline template, but here are a few guidelines I recommend: