Friday Forward - Pushing Through (#539)
In many cases, rest and retreat are the worst things we can do
I never would’ve expected a jog across a parking lot to be so painful.
Six weeks earlier, I had severely pulled an adductor and groin muscle while playing tennis. The injury was bad enough that for a few days I couldn’t get out of bed or walk normally without pain. And the recovery was hardly linear.
First, I tried to rest which is not my strong suit but seemed appropriate. But when that didn’t seem to work, I did some research and learned that rest can actually slow recovery from this type of injury, and cause tightness, weakness and overcompensation from the surrounding muscles.
Next, I went to a massage therapist who’d helped me through previous injuries. For an hour, she stretched my leg and firmly worked my hip, hamstring, and glute. It was torturous to the point that I was close to tapping out on several occasions. I left feeling certain she’d made things worse.
To my surprise, however, the next morning I felt better enough to get on the elliptical and resume real cardio. That led to gradual improvement. But even after a few weeks, I still couldn’t do even a basic jog. When I tried, every stride was excruciating.
Which brings us to the parking lot, where after weeks of frustration I decided to try some exposure therapy. I forced myself to jog across that lot, which was probably not even a tenth of a mile. It hurt the whole way, and I thought I might be setting myself back.
But the very next day I was able to lightly jog with far less pain, to the point that I was able to push myself to a full mile with just a little discomfort. Two days later, I ran two miles. Within a week, I managed just over three and felt pretty much back to normal.
When I think back on this recovery, a clear pattern emerges. At every step, the thing I least wanted to do in the moment was what moved me forward, despite some pain. The massage was excruciating, but it loosened me up. The parking lot jog was agonizing, but it seems to have worked some muscles that needed to be activated.
Nature provides a valuable metaphor here. When we’re in pain or stuck, the instinct is to retreat. To rest. To wait it out. But often, we need to do the opposite: push through our discomfort and see the pain as a necessary hurdle to clear.
A hurdle isn’t just physical. It’s the hard conversation. The fear we’ve been avoiding. The step we need to take, even when we feel paralyzed.
I wrote a few months ago questioning the modern approach of overprescribing rest and withdrawal as the default healing strategy for mental exhaustion or emotional struggles. I acknowledge there are genuine cases where immobilization is the right call and complete rest is medically required. But I believe those cases are far rarer than much of the prevailing wisdom suggests.
In many cases, rest and retreat are the worst things we can do. Rather than running from a relationship, a job, a workout or a difficult person, we often just need to push past the pain to get what we want on the other side.
The old line about no pain, no gain has become a parody of itself, often used to sell gym memberships. But there’s real wisdom underneath it that we seem to have lost. Healing, whether physical, emotional, or professional, often requires going toward what hurts a bit, not avoiding it.
It took a badly pulled muscle and a parking lot to remind me of something I should have already known. The next hurdle likely won’t be physical. But the move is the same: through it, not around it.
Quote of the Week
“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.” – Seneca
PS: In case you missed it, I’m teaming up with Why Institute founder Gary Sanchez for a free webinar on how core values and purpose can ground you in tumultuous times. Learn more about the webinar and save your spot at the official event page.
Have a great weekend!
-Bob
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Sorry to hear about your injury, Bob. I completely relate to this post having gone through rehab for 3 herniated disks, followed by a major shoulder injury. In life, having the painful conversation is often the only way to get unstuck and work toward resolving the issues. I've learned to face things head on no matter how uncomfortable I know it will be. I often find that avoiding the conversations creates anxiety that could easily be alleviated if I just faced the issue directly. The clarity gained from approaching these situations with a clear goal in mind and focus on the outcome wanted also helps to motivate me to tackle the challenge rather than run from it.
This is a great reminder of trusting your self. I wrote about it in this article. I hope you enjoy it.
https://mosquitoimpactopositivo.substack.com/p/trust-yourself?r=6w8xdw&utm_medium=ios