Friday Forward - Plain Sight (#544)
When you deny reality, you cannot solve the problems that threaten to ruin you
As the saying goes, the first step to solving a problem is admitting we have one.
Recently, Keir Starmer announced he would resign as Britain’s prime minister. I follow British politics only from a distance, so many people can speak to the particulars far better than I can. But one pattern stood out so much it was visible to me from across the pond.
As the UK was roiled by a series of crises and problems, Starmer kept insisting the situation was less grim than the reality people could observe with their own eyes. Starmer’s characterization of events diverged so greatly from the national mood in the UK that eventually his party decided he had to go. Starmer seemed to recognize this later than anyone, only resigning once the Labour party elected his clear successor and forced his hand.
That gap between the story a leader tells and the reality people live is constantly visible in life. And before I point at anyone else, I should admit I have created this gap myself.
Earlier in our company’s lifecycle, I led an aggressive expansion of our service line. While this felt like an exciting signal of growth, I was unwilling to recognize this expansion was pulling time, talent and focus away from the core business that paid our bills. The numbers were telling me something was wrong long before I was willing to admit it.
Thankfully, we were able to turn things around and get back to growth. But we only did so after I abandoned the expansion plan and got us laser focused on our primary offering again.
When you deny reality, you cannot solve the problems that threaten to ruin you. In my experience, facing reality can only happen in three stages; most people never get past the first.
Stage One: Admit to yourself that you have a problem. This is the hardest step and the most important, because nothing else can begin until it is done.
Stage Two: Acknowledge the problem to the people it affects so they can help you. You need other people to make a situation better, and honesty is what earns their trust. People are often willing to offer help to those who have the courage to ask for it.
Stage Three: Accept that there is rarely a quick fix. Many things take years to build, minutes to destroy, and years to rebuild. This asymmetry is very hard for most people to come to grips with.
You can bury your head in the sand and hope a problem resolves itself. But we all know this rarely happens. Instead, reaching a solution takes a long climb; you want to start that journey as soon as possible, and avoid doing it alone.
I often come back to a phrase I use with my kids, with leaders I work with, and with myself:
“We are where we are, now what.”
The one thing that reliably moves a situation forward is accepting where things actually stand and turning toward the present and the future, rather than litigating the past. You have to play the cards in your hand and go from there. Looking back at what you used to have, or where you used to be, does not help you address where you are today.
Reality does not wait for us to be ready to accept it. And the longer we put off that moment of recognition, the poorer our options tend to be.
What is one reality in your work or life that you already sense but have not let yourself fully admit? And what would change if you stopped waiting, faced it today, and asked for help?
Quote Of The Week
“We can evade reality, but we cannot evade the consequences of evading reality.” — Ayn Rand
Have a great weekend!
-Bob
New from Premium
In my experience @RobertGlazer few things in life are quite what they seem, particularly in #politics. With respect, I'm unconvinced that the perceived demise of the #BritishPrimeMinister is necessarily the best example of "denying reality" at this time and there countless better examples to be found. An alternative angle on the same event might be "the impact of #popularity on #leadership", "the emerging threat to #publicaccountability", or "responding to change in politics".