Friday Forward - Extra Mile (#446)
To get people to go to the mat for you, you have give without expecting anything in return
Two weeks ago, I shared a Friday Forward about the passing of a friend and colleague, John Ruhlin, and the profound impact he had on so many people. Since then, I’ve been moved and amazed by the outpouring of support from John’s closest friends and employees who have rallied together to support John’s family and sustain his legacy.
Here are just a few examples of the incredible efforts from the past two weeks:
John's friends and employees launched a GoFundMe campaign, raising nearly $150,000 to support his family.
His employees did the majority of the planning of John’s memorial service, alleviating the burden on his family during such a difficult time.
Several of John's friends who are professional speakers coordinated with his team to take over his booked speaking engagements, donating the proceeds to John's family.
Sales training guru Jack Daly is hosting a special training webinar in John’s honor, with all proceeds going directly to John's family.
Another group of friends is working tirelessly to ensure the book John was writing gets published. They’re negotiating with publishers and setting up a platform for friends to contribute content and edits, all at no cost to the Ruhlins.
Right before John’s memorial service, I joined a lunch with John’s business partner, employees and 30 business leaders that was planned to discuss how we could ensure John’s business continues to thrive, providing a stable source of income for his wife and kids.
Several of John's friends have spoken about compiling a book of lessons learned from him as a gift to his daughters, ensuring they carry his wisdom with them as they grow.
These are just a few examples of how John’s community is stepping up—I am sure there are countless other efforts I don’t even know about. Not only has witnessing such generosity and commitment inspired me, but it has also prompted a lot of reflection.
I’ve found myself thinking: what would happen in my absence? Have I invested in friends, family and colleagues to the degree that they would be compelled to this level of action?
I can’t say with 100 percent confidence that the answer is yes and I’d imagine many others reading this may feel the same—in fact, many at the memorial service expressed a very similar sentiment. The truth is that we often find it disruptive to make the time to even attend a funeral in the moment, let alone step up in the ways so many have for the Ruhlins.
However, what’s become clear to me is that to get people to go to the mat for you, like they have for John, you have to make a meaningful impact on their lives without expecting anything in return.
John's life was a testament to the lasting impact of generosity. His friends and colleagues are now ensuring that his legacy lives on—not just in words, but in actions that will echo for many years to come.
It’s worth thinking about how we could invest better in our relationships to the point that others would go the extra mile for our legacy and loved ones should the unthinkable ever become reality.
Quote of The Week
"In the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years.” - Edward Stieglitz
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I’m reading Ryan’s Holiday book “Right thing, Right now”. I am sure did the right things for others and now others are doing the right things for him and his family. I am moved and inspired. Thank you Robert for sharing his story with us.